Okay, it's time for the story of how everyone in France (not really) tried to seduce me yesterday.

So I'm walking to Reid Hall, minding my own business with my sunglasses and my purple polka dot dress (which is little, but so am I, so I'm not blaming this on that), when a man stops me. This all happened in French, but I'm going to translate the ridiculousness so that everyone can appreciate it.

Man: You have a beautiful dress, c'est magnifique!
Me: (in my head: you're obviously gay, that's cool) Thanks!
Man: Where are you from? What origin?
Me: Well, I'm American, but my mother is Philippino and my dad is German.
Man: Aha! And that is why you have that beautiful face?
Me: (nervous laugh--I know you all know which laugh I mean...the one that lasts way too long and is really awkward)
Man: And what is your astrological sign? Scorpio?
Me: (more awkward laughter because I couldn't really grasp the fact that someone had actually just asked what my sign was) Uh, I'm a Leo
Man: AHA! LIKE ME! So can I have your phone number?
Me: Uh, sorry, I don't have a phone! (totally true)
Man: No problem, I can give you my phone number!
Me: Sorry, I don't have a piece of paper or anything...
Man: That's okay, I have one!
Me: Oh, well I don't have a pen...
Man: I can ask in the store! (then he RUNS into the store across the street and asks if he can borrow a pen.) So, when are you going to call me?
Me: Uhhh I don't know
Man: Tonight?
Me: Uhhh
Man: 7? 8? When?
Me: Uhh, I really don't know if I can tonight...
Man: Well, until very soon, I hope.
Me: Uh, bye!

And then I ran away to Reid Hall. But it gets so much more hilarious, because when I was walking BACK from school, the same thing happened AGAIN. Here are the most entertaining parts:

Me: (walking down the street, once again minding my own business)
Man: Excuse me, excuse me!
Me: Yes?
Man: Can I have an autograph?
Me: (genuinely not understanding the French) A what?
Man: An autograph.
Me: (nervous laugh)
Man: I'm a fan of you.
Me: (hoping he stupidly thinks I'm someone famous and it isn't just a horrendous pickup line) Of who?
Man: Of you!
Me: Aaahaha...haha...ha...but I'm not famous?
Man: But you are very beautiful.
Me: uhhh thanks...(nervous laughter because, yet again, I cannot handle that I've heard two of the worst pickup lines in existence in the space of 2 hours)
Man: Want to have a drink with me?
Me: uhhh
Man: Now?
Me: Uh no, I can't right now (totally a lie)
Man: Okay, when?
Me: Uh, I don't know...(he continues to stare at me, so I continue to laugh nervously)
Man: You are very charming.
Me: (almost exploding from holding in my laughter)
Man: Very charming. (He was completely serious. I could not handle it.) Just sit down with me for a few minutes, okay?
Me: Uhhh okay (so we sat down on a step, awk)
Man: So, you are of what origin?
Me: My mom is Philippino and my dad is German, but I'm American.
Man: Ahh, it's a very good mix! And why are you here?
Me: I'm in a program to become fluent in French...
Man: And you have a boyfriend in the United States?
Me: Uh, no (because I am an idiot and didn't think to say yes and leave)
Man: And here?
Me: Nope
Man: Ah, perfect!
Me: (awkward)
Man: Well, I broke up with my girlfriend 5 months ago because she liked to party too much, like every day, and I'm not like that. (That sounded like a blatant and ridiculous lie even in French.)
Me: Oh...okay...
Man: So how old are you?
Me: I'm twenty.
Man: Aha, I'm twenty nine. That's okay though!
Me: ...uh.
Man: So, when do you want to see me again?
Me: Uh...I...don't know?
Man: I would like to have a drink and get to know you. When?
Me: I have classes
Man: When do you not have classes?
Me: Um...Friday...?
Man: Okay, we'll meet here on Friday at 1:00.
Me: Uhhh
Man: (in English) Very beautiful! Very beautiful!
Me: Ummm, thanks...BYE.

Uh, yeah. Not actually kidding. AT ALL. That is all word-for-word (in translation, obviously) minus the more boring parts which were mostly made up of me not understanding what they were saying. Possibly that is a good thing. Also, French people cannot grasp my name, because it is about as un-French as they come. But anyways.

Totally avoiding that sketchball on Friday. (Although in reality neither of them looked or dressed like a sketchball...I'm just not sure how sketchy it is (in France) to be so insistent when picking up girls on the street. Either way, definitely weird.

In other news I found CHOCOLATE PUMPKINS today in a chocolate shop right by my house. I also bought a pretty purple scarf, ate some yummy chocolat-pistache thingum, wandered around with Kristin and had hot chocolate with Kristin, Emily and Emily's friend whose name I cannot remember. Then we had an adventure buying stamps, but I finally have some, so that's good.

In other other news, the prof de litterature is a big bad meanie, but nobody likes her anyway so that's okay. I don't get why she continues to ask questions to which we clearly do not know the answers. "Do you think Baudelaire is a mystique?" No, because I don't know what the hell a 'mystique' is because, hello, the reason I'm here is because I'm trying to learn French, which would imply that I DON'T KNOW IT YET. The problem is that she KEEPS asking questions like that and acting surprised or frustrated when we don't get it. I don't get how she hasn't yet formed at least a general idea of our level. Bah.

I have to go eat some avocados now. Pray that weird men stop talking to me.