Taisez-vous, je suis en train de frapper quelqu'un avec un squash !

HOKAY SO.

This weekend was our group excursion to the Loire Valley, and it was pretty great.

Getting up at 6h00 (just as Valerie was going to bed) on Saturday morning wasn't that fun, but that's exactly what I did so that I could meet Emily outside (in the pitch freaking dark) to venture to the bus stop. We caught the bus 91 to the gare Montparnasse where we found some other people from our group wandering around, wondering how to get inside. We figured it out eventually (even though I think we actually entered by way of the exit, but it was too early for rational thought processes) and found Mme. Stevens and a huge bag of croissants. Have I mentioned that I ADORE Mme. Stevens? Because I know I've mentioned that I adore croissants. Everyone (except Yana, who met up with us later) got on the train and proceeded to do that thing where you fall asleep for long enough for your head to start drooping, then jolt awake voilently and freak out a little. Then you do it again. Good times.

It was ridiculously foggy during the ride and when we got to the Loire (like, the kind of fog that looks like it might eat you if you get lost in it). The first chateau we visited was in an itty bitty town that was basically smooshed into the side of a hill and made of white stone, with teeny yellowy-beige-ish cobble stones that made up the streets and the sidewalks. It looked like a tiny, adorable, quiet version of Disneyland. The chateau was big and gloomy and fairly unremarkable aside from the weirdly colored floors in every room. It also had ramparts with a bell which I stupidly assumed would not ring if I happened to throw myself against it. I was wrong. Oops. Also, there was probably the most amazing treehouse I have ever seen in the garden. It was in an enormous tree, and it was not like any treehouse you can possibly imagine. I'm guessing it wasn't original to the middle ages, but it was still my favorite part, especially since it was the perfect size for short people like me, Jennifer and Jessica.

After that we visited a "cave" which I stupidly assumed (for the second time) was actually a cave. Like with stalactites and bears. But it was actually a wine cellar--which is not to say, a cellar with some wine in it. It was HUGE and DARK and SCARY. And full of wine bottles, some of which were all fuzzy with mold because they were so old. We tasted a bunch, and while I didn't really like the wine, I was a huge fan of the nut bread and goat cheese they gave us.

After the wine tasting we went back to the town of the first chateau for lunch. It took us (Liz, Linnaea and I) way too long to find a restaurant we wanted to eat at, but when we finally did it ended up being crepes. It also ended up being twenty minutes before we had to be back at the bus, so, being responsible students, we asked to have our dessert crepes to go and proceeded to eat our savory crepes (mine was with goat cheese) faster than I thought was humanly possible. Once we paid and got our nutella creps to go we RAN to the bus (which sucked because both Linnaea and Liz are at least 5 inches taller than me) only to discover that some other kids were going to be late because they were busy eating ice cream. Not cute.

Once we finally got everyone on the bus we set out for the "country house" of Brittany and Nina's host family who had invited the group over for coffee. After we drove down a private, tree'lined road for at least fifteen minutes, we got off the bus, crossed a MOAT (like honestly, a moat, with a swan swimming around in it) and ended up in front of, not a country house, but a freaking CHATEAU. Literally--the proper word for it is actually chateau. The ceilings on the first floor were probably 15 feet high, and there were two other floors with 7 and 12 bedrooms respectively. And a library, and a bunch of other rooms. Then Nina and Brittany's family proceeded to show us various things, like a portrait of their ancestor who was saved from the Terror during the French Revolution by being hidden in a laundry basket when she was a baby. Then we had coffee on the lawn and learned about why a hunting horn is like a cell phone. Which is a long and ridiculous story.

We left for Villandry, another chateau, to see the gardens which turned out to be spectacular. Not only were there four different gardens of love (each one being a different kind of love, although we couldn't quite figure out which was which), but there was also a garden where everything was edible. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure the people at the chateau didn't mean for us to take that as an invitation to actually EAT everything in the garden...but we kind of did anyway. Hopefully all those grapes (and the pear that Leah and Emily stole even though it involved leaping over a fence) weren't covered in products. There was a labyrinth too, but it was slightly disappointing because even I could see over the hedges. Lame.

We finally ended up in Tours for the night, where our hotel was little and cute, and surprisingly well equipped to deal with us. Most of the rooms just had one bed, which wasn't a big deal for the girls (and our group of 33 only has 7 boys), but was pretty hilarious for Sky and Kit, both of whom are very tall (and boys, if the names fooled you). We ate a bizarre dinner at a restaurant across town...and by bizarre I mean that the appetizer was a piece of cold stingray topped with something that we think was jello (but not sweet, thankfully) and peas. The main course was turkey in a sauce that was too sweet for me, but the dessert was pretty yummy, even though I'm still not sure what it was. After dinner the whole group walked back to the hotel through the town, which was fun (on the way to dinner we took the bus). Linnaea and I went right to sleep because we were exhausted and had to wake up early the next morning (today).

The hotel gave us a really, really delicous breakfast (with chocolat chaud!) and tons of food, and then we headed to a chateau whose name I cannot remember where I think Leonardo DaVinci lived...although I wasn't really listening because whenever Laurent the art history prof starts talking about symbolism and architecture, I kind of fall asleep with my eyes open. There were tons of replicas of his inventions in the garden...along with a replica of his canoe, which confused me because it looked exactly like every other canoe in the world. But whatever.

After chateau DaVinci we took a walk to look at another huge chateau which we couldn't visit for some reason. But the town we walked through was even more adorable than the one from the day before, and there was a gigantic candy store which made my life.

Finally we headed to Chenonceau where we first ate lunch at the restaurant inside the grounds, then were lead through the woods by Laurent, then listened to him blather for a good half an hour. That chateau was by far my favorite--it's on a bridge which traverses the Loire, all made out of white stone. I think it's mainly for the bridge thing that I can't get over how cool it is. It is so gorgeous, I think everyone needs to google a picture of it. When Laurent was done rambling we were set free to explore the chateau and the gardens. The kitchens in the chateau were amazing, because there were tons of replicas of old appliances etc. There were also a lot of squashes and gourds lying around for no apparent reason. There was one long room that took up a good deal of the lower level of the chateau, with black and white checkered floor and huge arched windows on both sides looking out on the river in both directions. There were also some weird shrubs between each window, but I'm not exactly sure why. I wish we had had more time to visit the entire chateau, but we ended up leaving in order to check out the gardens for a little while. We unfortunately didn't find the labyrinth in time to play in it, but we did walk around in the other parts of the garden (after we bought some cartes postales!) and we certainly took some idiotic photos.

When we were done at Chenonceau we went back to the train station and caught the train back to Paris. We got in at 6h30ish, I ate dinner with Valerie, and now I'm here, about to fall asleep at the computer.

And lastly, I found pumpkins at Villandry! And I touched them even though I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to. The end.